1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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