you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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