I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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