last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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