why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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