the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
