scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pants are for mortals
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
