Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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