my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
