I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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