He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
