so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
