he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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