It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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