why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
