I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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