God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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