i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Even my vagina gasped.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
