I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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