If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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