I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
