I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize