You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
