Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
