A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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