went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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