I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
