people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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