I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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