you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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