I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.