My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole