Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.