I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize