final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
