Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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