You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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