we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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