I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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