You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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