Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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