so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
