i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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