I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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