i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize