therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
