He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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