I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
