I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
