The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
