Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
