first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
