Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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