So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize