it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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