so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
