Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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