Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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