perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
