Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
