i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
