I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
