I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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