i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We named our party play list daddy issues
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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