I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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